Lee Pitts is a freelance columnist for The and Paso Robles Press; e-mail [email protected]
Whitey and Nan had not gone on vacation together since they were married. Maybe that’s why they just celebrated their 45th anniversary.
“Why don’t you guys go away for a few days,” I told them. “Go someplace where they’ve never heard of calf scrape or alfalfa hay.”
“Because as soon as we leave, bad things are going to happen on this ranch,” Nan says. In fact, she is the undisputed spokeswoman for the family.
“What could go wrong?” I asked.
“Are you crazy? As soon as we left, the water pipe burst, the cows came out of the water and the bull started running. It’s just easier to stay home,” Nan said.
“I’ll tell you what,” I begged Nan, “I’ll take care of everything while you’re away. Why don’t we go on one of those exotic cruises. ”
“But who is going to feed my chickens?” Nan knew of my great dislike of all birds and feathers.
I bit my tongue and said, “I’ll even feed your chickens for you.”
To my great surprise, Whitey and Nan decided to take a cruise. Well, it was a cruise of sorts. They fished the lake for an entire Saturday and Sunday! Surprisingly, they accepted my offer to feed the chickens and watch their place.
Early on the Saturday morning of their vacation, I arrived at their house, opened the door of the truck and let the Australian out for a walk. I began working at home, leaving the chicken business until last. After making sure everyone had water and searching Whitey’s barn, I finally had the courage to take care of the chickens.
You can imagine my surprise when, as I approached the chicken coop, I saw an Australian chewing on a drumstick that belonged to one of Nan’s beloved chickens. When they asked me to clean the chicken coop, I doubted that this was what they had in mind.
I realized that I had abandoned Whitey and Nan, and
that after this disaster they would never leave the ranch again. Under those circumstances, I devised a desperate and cunning plan…. After locking up the dog, I tried to smile at the dead chicken and carefully put it back on its nest in the chicken coop. With any luck, Whitey and Nan will think the chicken just died of old age or tried a duel.
I waited until Wednesday of the following week to visit Nan and Whitey and pick up their mail. They invited me for a cup of tea, and for a moment I thought my plan had worked. They thanked me for taking care of their home, and the dead chicken was not mentioned by a word.
“Really, there was no problem,” I lied. “If you want to go, I’ll be happy to watch things.”
“We’ve had our last vacation,” Nan replied emphatically. “You won’t get me off the ranch if I don’t go in a pine box. We didn’t fish, we worried all the time, and it took 10 years to pay for food and lodging. I can’t believe they wanted $59 for one night! By the way, strange things happened while we were gone.
Oh. “What do you mean, I thought you said it was okay.”
“The night before we went on vacation, one of my old chickens died, so we buried her in the garden. When we came back from vacation, we found the dead chicken in the nest box. It was a miracle! The cursed chicken must have come back to life, and who would have thought it, we had to leave when it happened. We’ll never leave again,” Nan said with a wink. “If something like this happens again, I want to be there.”
And they haven’t left the ranch since.
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We’ll get through this together, Atascadero….
Frequently asked questions
Colt and Abby stay married at the ranch?
Colt and Abby are back together, and not only that, they have another baby on the way. It’s the best way to end their story, frankly. We’ve seen the “its them” for a few seasons now, so it’s good that Colt could turn the page and Abby could see the good in him.
Will there be a part 9 on the ranch?
WHEN IS RANCHO PART 9 COMING TO NETFLIX? Unfortunately, there are no plans for any more episodes of The Ranch. For now, part 8 is the last part of the series, episode 80 is the last episode of the series.
What happened to Maggie Bennett?
Debra plays the role of Maggie, the matriarch of the Bennett family, who divorced her ex-husband Bo and now lives in a trailer behind the bar she owns in town. Maggie has been an essential part of the show since its premiere in 2016. Although she does not appear in every episode, her absence last season was felt by fans.
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