How I Do It: ‘I’m not interested in monogamy

Polygamy is the practice of one person having multiple spouses. Recently, a new article in The Atlantic tells about how people are beginning to question monogamy, including some who say it’s not for them and their partners. They’re starting to think outside of traditional patterns and explore open relationships instead.

I’m not interested in monogamy and he doesn’t want it. I am a very independent person, but I also know that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the people you love.


‘I washed my clothes and three times masturbated.’ It’s like a return to the days of lockdown.’ (Photo courtesy of Getty/Myles Goode)

Welcome to How I Go About It, a weekly series in which a different individual provides us a seven-day window into their sex life.

We join up with Sophia*, a 25-year-old bisexual who isn’t interested in exclusivity, for this Friday’s installment.

Sophia last spoke with us about her personal experience with ethical non-monogamy, explaining that “there are virtually zero aspects about [monogamy] that sound interesting to me.”

Sophia is now single and says her sex relationship will ‘hopefully improve as I grow older.’ She also wishes for a’more glamorous’ sex life with ‘fewer panic episodes’ one day.

Meanwhile, she’s pleased with her masturbating abilities.

Here’s how her week went, from uncomfortable courting encounters to a text from her ex…


There was nothing particularly exciting in the sex department today.

Even though it was just Monday, I was exhausted.

I’m weary a lot of the time, therefore I don’t orgasm as often.


It had been a long since I’d had a day off. I did my wash and three times masturbated. It’s like a return to the days of lockdown.

After the first orgasm, I have that panicky sensation like I’m about to weep, but by the third one, it’s gone.

I am a hard worker with a strong work ethic.


Despite the fact that we didn’t interact, I was awestruck by a lovely lady on the train today.

Even though I was gazing at her, I hope she didn’t think I was.


Someone I was crushing on at work had a relationship, and I found out about it. Disappointed.

I felt it could have been flirting since they were complimenting my clothing so much.

Is there a way to bring up non-monogamy with a coworker in a discreet manner?


Tonight I went to a club night.

I struck up a conversation with a female on the dance floor who was accompanied by two companions. I was attempting to convey my desire to make out with her. She had a stunning appearance.

I was anxious, so I stepped outside to have a cigarette with my pals.

They complimented me, and I felt good about returning to flirting. On the way, I ran into a buddy I hadn’t seen at the club, and she was conversing with Flirt Girl’s companion.

‘Nice to meet you, I was just flirting with your buddy!’ I remarked as she introduced me to her.

‘That’s my girlfriend…’ they responded.

I n’t make out with her girlfriend in the end.


I’m never sure whether I’m flirting. Is it simply that I’m always misunderstanding potential flirting situations?

At one of my jobs, I believe I flirt with my supervisor on occasion.

I believe it’s innocent flirting and excellent fun. But I hope I don’t make him uncomfortable — I’m hoping it’s just friendly banter.

more: way of life


Today, I received a text from my ex. We had a nasty breakup four months ago

I dialed his number, and we spoke for about an hour. He has a pleasant voice.

We’re never getting back together, but it was nice to get some closure.

After we hung up, I had a wank reminiscing about him — just for fun.

*Please note that the name has been altered.

How I Go About It

In’s How I Go About It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.

Do you want to be a part of it? For further information, contact Aidan Milan at [email protected]

Do you have a story to tell?

Send an email to [email protected] to get in contact.

MORE : How I Go About It: ‘When I stopped thinking sex is just penetration, it became great’

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The “signs he wants an open relationship ” is the first article in a series of articles that will help you figure out if your partner is interested in an open or monogamous relationship. The author, who has been married for two years and is currently in an open relationship, offers advice on how to tell the difference between what they want and what you want.

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